A brief history lesson:
In the 1920s, the National Fire Protection Association found that many people were misinterpreting the word “inflammable.” Many did not know the word meant the same thing as the more recent adaptation, “flammable” which means “capable of being easily ignited.” The NFPA advocated for the use of “flammable” on all labels, in hopes that this version would be more widely understood and could reduce the risk of injury.
An oral history:
The first time I told him I took scissors to my skin,
He got angry
And at first I thought it was out of love
I wrote a story about colors as emotions
About how confusing it is that love and hate are the same shade
There weren’t just red flags
There were fire alarms
Telling me to get the hell out
But like my father I have selective hearing
I could always hear the ringing,
But I blocked out the sound
The first time
He came in my mouth without asking
I couldn’t tell if it tasted like desire or disgust
Actually, it tasted fucking disgusting
But his face showed desire
So I wondered who was reading the situation wrong
As I spit in the sink I was worried
About making him feel
Undesirable and maybe,
Small
The first time—
He was my first time
So I learned it all from him
Or so he likes to think
That he lit the fire between my legs
But I knew I was learning it wrong
I learned in church that it wasn’t as good after the first time
And wouldn’t I want to give my husband that first time feeling?
I learned that every time I let a man take me,
I was letting him take away from me
I learned that I would become
Undesirable and certainly,
Small
The first time I finally got him to admit
That he cheated on me
I felt both victory and defeat
Defeat:
Because I knew the whole time
Victory:
Because I now knew it was over
Rituals:
The USDA Forest Service defines controlled burning as, “any fire intentionally ignited to meet specific land management objectives, such as to reduce flammable fuels, restore ecosystem health, recycle nutrients, or prepare an area for new trees or vegetation.”
I still keep my heart coated in gasoline
But this time,
I’m holding the match.