Month: February 2018

My alarm shocks me from sleep, signaling I need to get my ass out of bed and get ready for work. My boyfriend grabs my phone from the bedside table and hands it to me so I can put a stop to the obnoxious noise. I snuggle into my boyfriend’s chest as he wraps his arm around me. Nothing beats waking up to him pulling me in closer for one last moment of relaxation before the start of a long day. Sighing, I pull myself away and out of the warm covers. As I leave the bed my boyfriend reaches across to smack my butt as I step out into the cool room.

Living with a guy took some getting used to, but for the most part it’s been nothing but fun. We joke, laugh and thoroughly enjoy each other’s company after a long day at work. To be honest, it is exactly what I dreamed of in college. Getting to work in the same city, continuing all the incredible times we’ve had since we started dating. Having wine and Netflix nights, going downtown to the bars where we dance all night (because my boyfriend knows I love to dance) and waking up to one another has only gotten better.

The sense of relief when everything worked out made me giddy. You know the feeling in your stomach that is almost like butterflies but also feels like you need to let out a little scream because you’re so overwhelmed with elation you feel like you could burst? I feel that times a thousand. The feelings of uncertainty and being so stressed about what my future would hold have become simply a memory. To have the weight off my shoulders and to be this happy is how I always knew, deep down, it would play out.

It may not have happened as easily as I would have liked—not every moment of a relationship is all sunshine and rainbows. And sometimes the bad times can taint your image of all the good, but when the good times outweigh and outlast the bad, it’s easy to shrug off those nagging feelings.

In the end I am a firm believer that when two people are supposed to be together, they will be. And when the love is there, why should there be a reason for something to end? I saw this future so clearly, and deep down I knew this was right where I was supposed to be.

I’m taking my dog on a walk at Greys Lake. The air is starting to get chilly—the first signs of fall. After we’ve taken a few laps we hop into the car and drive back to the apartment I share with one of my closest friends. Dropping my keys on the counter and taking my dog’s leash off, I call out to her signaling that I’m home. We’re in a studio near downtown Des Moines, where we both work. It’s been a lazy Sunday; something I cherish when I think back to how I dreaded the bustle of a Sunday full of homework when I was in college.

I really enjoy my job; I’m working at Meredith Corporation as an email content specialist—sounds super fancy, but I mostly compose emails in a way that gets people to open and read them. But I still get to write and do something I care about, and I feel like I’m good at it so that doesn’t hurt either.

I have a great support system of friends and family close by, so I’m never alone. It took a lot to get where I am and to feel okay (including copious amounts of wine), but I managed to and I’m happy now and excited for what the future will hold. I think back to a time when I imagined a very different future, one that I was planning with my boyfriend in college. I was stressed about the upcoming decisions we would have to make together in order to make the relationship work. I remember being so ready to put in the effort to make it work and I honestly believed it would. Because when two people just fit perfectly together how could it not?

I remember being so concerned about the decisions we would have to make upon graduation and what it would mean for us. But I was optimistic. I was hopeful. I knew in my heart this person was worth the trouble of a few tough decisions. When you can see so clearly your future, and you’ve been planning it with the intentions of sharing it with this person, you don’t ever imagine that it could be taken away. When the love is there you think there’s no possible reason it should end.

But then it does. And the choice to make your life decisions is made for you.